southofsane

ok, so I suck at this journal thing

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 06:17:52 GMT

I realise there are a lot of people who keep journals, little books with all the interesting stuff that happened during their days, their thoughts, all that kind of stuff. Im just not one of those people. I should be, I can barely remember what I did last week, so if anyone should be writing it all down, its me. But im not.
So here's be being how im not.
Thing in St. Albert are pretty nice so far. I didnt really put a lot of effort into the serious job search, as usual I just sort of meandered around until something looked good enough to get. So as of very soon, I'll be starting at DELL in their tech service division. It sounds friendly and the benifits and stuff sound nice. I never considered buying a DELL computer.. ever.. but 15% off digital cameras etc might be sweet, or maybe if they sell computer parts.
So to fill my time lately, ive been doing sort of carpetry stuff. Got introduced to a fellow who has a small business installing crown mouldings, baseboards, door and window trims, lino and carpet, and a few other things. Its been a nice part time hobby, im not even gonna call it a job because I enjoy working with my hands too much. Measure, saw, sand, nail, paint, admire. I definitely know what im doing with my spare time when I retire.

anyway, im not dead, in case anyone was worried.

See ya guys

Happy birthday to me

Mon, 08 May 2006 21:00:43 GMT

This day cannot end soon enough. Birthdays are worse than mondays, and much worse when they fall on a monday.
Hopefully the next 25 years will be as unproductive as the first 25.. Id hate to set such a good example and then not live up to it

Im back

Thu, 04 May 2006 21:59:09 GMT

Hello Everyone,
Ok, so here's where I am. St. Albert, kind of an affluent suburb of Edmonton. Think of Brandon, but 10 minutes away from Winnipeg, both of them very rich.
Ive just moved in with Kathy, she's a friend of mine from way back. Nice house, couple of other roommates, little yard, big garage full of nothing.
The plan is to settle in, fit in, and then... you know.. make something of myself. So im settled in, pretty much. Got my stuff delivered here a few days after I arrived. Bed, Beloved couch, darling television, sweet sweet computer goodness, books and dvds, and miscellaneous junk.
The other day I proceeded to blend in spectacularly. Went down to white ave., its kind of like osbourned and the forks mashed together into a couple miles of streets. Stores full of kitschy knick knacks, music stores, pubs and lounges. Anyway, went to the elephant and castle and watched game six of the oilers and detroit. Now, ive heard of this happening, ive seen a species of it in Regina on labour day, but after the oilers won, we went out on the street and some people are standing on street corners and cars are honking a little.. and then it grew, and grew, and before I knew it, we'd been running up and down white av for two hours, there was around a thousand people and dozens of cops filling the sidewalks, traffic was at a standstill and everyone's leaning on their horns, hanging out their windows and sunroofs waving oilers flags. High fives, hugs, flashing, photographers, reporters, madness, mayhem, chaos, and a pornographic amount of team spirit. These people really like to celebrate! After a couple hours of yelling Go Oilers Go and blending into the mob, I figured I'd fit in nicely and hurried home to see if we were on any of the tv footage. It was still going strong and growing when we left, I have no idea when it ended, for all I know it may have been still going the next morning.
So i'm gonna say step two, fitting in, was a huge success, now I can only hope that step three.. you know.. making something of myself and my life, will follow suit. I'm applying for jobs in Edmonton, I somehow doubt any of these jobs will let me keep up my vigorous reading schedule.. but sacrafices have to be made. Should these sacrafices be in the form of accepting a very large paycheque, I think I may just be able to live with that.

So, in conclusion. I miss Romani's, Go Oilers (apparently), and the job search continues.

-Collin

The Tarantino Protocol

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 18:57:24 GMT

This has been kicking around in my brain ever since I saw Kill Bill Vol. 1. Right after the movie ended, I was stumbling drunken with pleasure out to the car from the theatre, thinking to myself how marvelous Mr. Tarantino had managed to basically crawl into my brain, scoop up a big armful of things from the barrel marked "Collin Loves This Shit" and turn it into a movie.

It then occured to me that so very very very few filmmakers are able to do that. I could count the number on one hand while still being able to use my fist to punch the jerks who make movies like Domino.
Therefore I propose "The Tarantino Protocol"

The Tarantino Protocol is as follows:
-Being that almost everything made by hollywood is a piece of crap or a remake of something or a sequel to something, the extremely few gifted writers/filmmakers who break free of this are to be treasured.
-Taking into account that the half life of any creator is becoming shorter and more difficult, due to the massive inflow of garbage filmmakers (heretofore referred to as "Pretenders") taking up legitimate resources in the film industry, all efforts are to be made to insure that the overall standard of quality of hollywood output is to be increased to make the Pretenders go home in shame.
-It is an unfortunate circumstance that one day great moviemakers will retire or die, and most likely be replaced by wannabes. Therefore the genetic material of these great creators (heretofore referred to as "Tarantinos") is to be collected for study.
-As soon as feasably possible, the genetic information of the Tarantinos is to be cloned in an effort to produce replicas of their progenitor (clones heretofore referred to as Tarans), so that we are not called upon to rely upon the Pretenders.
-Intense study of the upbringing and influences of the Tarantinos is to be undertaken, and the Tarans to be subjected, as closely as possible, to the same stimuli during their formative years.
-Proposal is that Tarans of a particular Tarantino be staggered in their formative development by approximately 7 years, so as not to overlap. In this way a Taran's early years will be coming to theatres around the same time as the preceding Taran is hitting his stride, and his preceding Taran is finishing his career with his late work and opuses.
-Taran's stimuli should be varied slightly, with efforts put toward creating variations on each great filmmaker. Each Tarantino may therefore have, say, a Taran influenced by drug culture, a post-war Taran, a Japanese Taran, a 'ghetto' Taran, and so forth. Such variation will ensure that all strata of society may equally enjoy the fruits of this project, internationally as well as in North America.

I humbly submit this protocol to the Overlords with my most extreme endorsement. Observe only the pathetic box-office of this most recent year and you shall see our desperate need for true visionaries, and our inability to rely upon Hollywood and happenstance.

Good day.

Domo Dream Team

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 23:10:03 GMT

From the top down, here we go.
Supervisor:
Betty. Don't even pretend like there's anyone else who compares.

Daytimers:
Richard Nelson. I'm not sure who out there remembers Rich, but the man is a roving pocket of chaotic enthusiasm. And for some reason, hot girls hang around the store more often when he works. Just keep him away from the mop bucket.
Jeff G. (hardrockhound on LJ) Chosen not for his service, his sales, or appearance. Its just nice to have someone at the store you can have an intelligent conversation with.
Juanita B. Gotta have a girl at the store, and while Juanita (to be fair) barely qualifies as girly (unless she's using her dimples to distract you while performing evil) she's the one I'd want at the store were there a robbery. Im not saying I'd want to clean up the blood after... but we'd never be robbed again.

Midnighter:
Bradley B. Former Markham midnighter. The worst plumber known to man, but the only person I've ever seen scrub the floor three times in one night because he was bored.

Part-Timers:
Beth (formerly B, now H). Nobody, but nobody, organizes like Beth. To this day I wish I could get her to come to my store once a month and reverse entropy. If only she didnt reorganize everything onto the bottom shelves.
Thomas B. Believe me, nothing comes in hadier than having your little brother work for you. "Work the double or im telling mom!" Plus he's the only employee I can smack upside the head with no worries.

Again with the 'in the news'

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 03:58:34 GMT

Did you know that U.S. Law exempts vehicles in excess of 3825 Kilograms from fuel economy standards. So vehicles such as Hummers and the Great Big SUVs dont have to conform to any kind of standards on how bad their fuel economy gets. Does this make any sense to anyone?? Shouldnt they be under the heaviest standards? In a sane world, wouldnt you be most concerned with how well your large vehicles perform in that category, and less concerned about how the tiny vehicles do? Tiny vehicles have good fuel economy anyway, its the gas guzzling earth-fuckers you need to be stressing over.

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So apparently, in Churchill, wolf attacks on sled dogs has become completely rampant. Hundreds of mushers have been torn to shreds and eaten by the area's wolves. And on the other hand, bear attacks on humans has been totally bannas this year. Every week during late summer someone was getting the crap mauled out of them by a bear.
I propose a solution, and in the process, I propose we make a ton of money. The only logical thing to do now is have Bears vs. Wolves, cagematch to the death! Tickets should be sold in seedy pubs, where drunks often argue violently over who would win a fight between a bear and a wolf anyway.
So many birds... so few stones...

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Canadian Veterans affairs has spent 4 million dollars filling prescriptions for Viagra for war vets. Ahhhhh.. so this is why I've always been frightened to go into Legion halls.

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Phuket province in Thailand hosts the Annual Vegetarian Festival. This is the festival where people pierce their cheeks with bamboo and lamps and chandaliers. They parade around, showing off who can stick the biggest most bizarre something through their face. Vegetarians? These are the people who have such an issue with KFC? I find it hard to accept their judgement about what is and is not disgusting. cheeky!

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And finally, my favorite news tidbit. 360 Kindergarten students in west Ukraine were hospitalised for dysentry and related bacterial sickness. This stemmed apparently from Kefir, a popular drink made by fermenting milk. Two points here..
1. Who the hell thought fermenting a dairy product was a good idea in the first place?
2. Why the hell didn't I get fermented anything when I was in Kindergarten? Total BS! You could have fermented my juice box!! I can guarantee thats a much more sane idea than fermenting my yogurt cup!

Plucked from the headlines

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 18:32:33 GMT

Another female teacher goes to jail for having sex with her students. I think I speak for all men everywhere when I say to the government STOP DEFENDING US FROM HOT TEACHERS HAVING SEX WITH US!!!! People killing us, fire away, people infringing on my freedoms and rights, go to town, terrorists, Americans, unfair trade levvys, saddle up your horses goverment, and go get 'em. But speaking as someone who had no hot teachers who would sleep with me in hichschool, and wanting very badly that I did, and now speaking as an adult looking back on those years, I can honestly say I see absolutely no downside whatsoever to sex with a female teacher. Sure, by all means protect the girls from old men teachers, but we're boys!! We're supposed to have sex. Its a double standard because its twice as true!

Next

Sweedish hunter spends two days in bed after being knocked unconscious by a Canada Goose that his son shot. The goose plummetted from about 20 metres up and slammed into the hunter's head, knocking him right out. I think I speak for all Canadians (geese or otherwise) when I say AHAHAHHahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That is awesome! I mean, its a fantastically unfair contest in the first place, all the goose can do is make a mad run for it, but that its already dead body managed to get a little revenge from the beyond, well thats just poetry right there.

Next

Ontario man attempt to rob a pizza deliver boy with a sawed off shotgun. In the process of beating him with the butt of the gun, it discharges and blows off his own left arm. DARWINISM AT WORK! Brilliant.

Next

Edward Albee, the playwright of the fantastically acclaimed 'who's afraid of virginia wolfe' has a new play out called 'the goat, or who is sylvia'. It focuses around a middle aged, married architect and his extra-marital affair with a goat. The play even contains a homosexual kiss between the lead character and his son, which is where most of the walk outs on the play occur. I think this play fills the drastic and vast emptyness that only bestiality can fill on the legitimate stage. For too long people have had to go to Amsterdam or Mexico to see a good beast show, Kudos, Mr. Albee

The world is not enough

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 18:22:05 GMT

For the past.. I dunno.. longish time, every Sunday night, the delightful fellows at Romani's have been throwing a midnight Risk game.
Apparently word got around the restaurant that I have some slight experience and skill in the realm of world domination, and so I was invited to join. This in turn evolved into a standing invitation. So most Sundays at midnight, I claim red, pick my territories, and eventually rule the world. I'm not gonna say I win every time, because I don't. No one can win every time at Risk if they're playing the same people, because tradition insists that everyone gang up on the guy who won last time, and the guy you put in second place will kamikaze your ass just to make sure you dont win again.
I do however win far more than my fair share, and I started to wonder why that is.
It could be that the guys im plaing against are just no good.. and for a couple of them, that's true. But its absolutely not true for a few of the others. Bad players are just cards waiting to be claimed by whoever gets there first. God bless em. Without easy kills the game would go on all night. Instead you kill one, get his cards, claim men, use those men to kill the next, cards, claim, kill, game over, world domination. I considered it may just be that I am first to strike and set up that combo, but upon careful analysis, thats not true.
It could be that I simply posess a superior sense of strategy, insofar as it applies to the Risk world. Minimal borders, with maximum defenders. One or two territories set far away from your main centre of power that can be used to collect cards without threatening your immediate neighbors, or being forced into a big battle just for one card. But plenty of other people play like that too, so thats not it.
There is the possiblity that my not inconsiderable skills of subtle persuasion, or as it is commonly referred to during the game, my Jedi-mind-tricks, are the reason. Often the weak minded need only to notice a significant glace at the board, and they will decide that i'm recommending the proper course of attack, which just happens to involve weakening my nearest enemy. Implied alliances (Brazil and Northern Africa suspiciously never attacking each other) are an easy way to win, if your opponent is naturally peace minded.
Another option is that I never fall for the classic blunders. NEVER try for Asia, Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Then it occured to me. Its so simple. Why do I win so much? Its obvious once you take everything into account. My acumen, my charisma, my nefarious laugh and control over the weak minded. I am meant to actually rule the world. Risk is merely acting as a microcosm of reality. Just as only in a controlled labratory setting can we define the grand rules that govern our universe, only in the simplified world of the Risk board, can we see that I am truly chosen, nay, necessary to the harmonious rule of the planet Earth.

Need you any further proof? My logic is irrefutable, my skill undeniable, my fate UNSTOPPABLE! Join me now and you will be rewarded greatly as one of the Chosen when the world sighs with peace and contentment under my bootheel.

I AM COLLIN!! I HAVE SPOKEN!!

Serenity

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 03:35:53 GMT

See Serenity. NOW!

Revolution

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 18:40:09 GMT

Boo me for being a Nintendo die hard if you must, but I have a point to make. The Revolution, The X-Box 360, The PS3, these are the 'next-gen' platforms. Thats the industry term, not mine. Next-Gen. So where the hell is the innovation? So far as i've seen, the new consoles consist of the old consoles with more horsepower. Dual processing, blu-raying, wireless, music playing, online-capable/required, graphics guru, steroid pumped flame spitting monster machines of tech spec.
so?
You can throw bigger and faster at me till you're blue in the face, im not going to be impressed. I'll be dissapointed if you don't improve the specs, obviously, but if you want to impress me and be 'next-gen' you're gonna have to do something NEW!
Most days I'd rather turn on the ol emulator and plop down in front of FFI, or the orginal Zelda, or blur through a few levels of Sonic the Hedgehog. I'm not going to wet myself over hype thats just more of the same.
At the rate our generation is developing and making everyday new technologies, that we would be content with old technology being faster and prettier is just not good enough. You can throw all the gizmos and gadgets you want on your bicycle, but that still doesnt invent the automobile. Build the biggest telescope possible, but thats not putting someone on the moon.
I want something NEW! I already have the OLD, i've seen what the OLD has to offer and iterative development on the OLD does not create the NEW.

So here's where i'm interested in the new Revolution controller system from Nintendo. This may not be NEW technology, but it will change the way you play games, and that is NEW. A NEW experience (which may single-handedly remove the sterotype of the chubby gamer) is something i'll throw down my 6 or 7 hundred dollars for.
With this, I'll not just be leaning closer to the point where I get to BE Link, I'll actually be taking a step toward it. Technology so far has managed to immerse my eyes, my attention, and my thumbs in a game. The concept of drawing the line of separation between the game and my life from my thumb up to my shoulder, this is a concept I can get behind.
And I think its a concept developers can get behind too, and thats where the NEW begins.
Children of the 80's, remember how awesome the power glove could have been? Now it is, only its more than a glove, its anything they want it to be. Its the all purpose, all singing, all dancing, multitool of gaming. And in the hands of a company that can see a hero in a boy with a sword, or the guy from pikmin, or you, just for taking care of a dog, this is a tool of infinite uses.

Embrace the NEW.

Portrait of a Customer

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:35:44 GMT

We here at CollinCorp, developers of such fine products as the Laxation, are proud to offer a new experience. We humbly offer the "portrait of a customer". Research has shown that at some point, nearly all persons occupy a position in customer service of some sort, and as such forever will be scarred by being forced to interact with 'Customers' or often 'Guests'. As these unfortunates naturally move on into other, less annoying sectors of the work force, they may find themselves stupidly drawn to feeling nostalgic for the "good" old days.
Thus we bring you the cure for this madness.. the "Portrait of a Customer".
This is the prototype model PoaC, and we feel that this offering will give a fair representation of our new development, intended to free persons from the foolishness of Customer Nostalgiosis.

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She wears a pink trasksuit that actually has the brass to say "hip hop" on the left breast. The half finished cigarette never leaveing its no doubt permanent position between the first and second fingers of her left hand, looped through the handles of her purse, while she dumps personal effects, cosmetics mostly, on the counter. Digging for change to buy smokes, of course.
Even through my cold I can still taste the aura of nicotene that hazes around her like smoke from a tire fire. Its only 1pm, the accompanying aura of booze to be ignited within the next hour, no doubt. Two hours tops.
She's exactly the kind of woman who'll lie about her age to others for as long as she can get away with it, and lie to herself significantly longer.
She's obviously invested so heavily into her appearance and relying on her ability to manipulate men she never bothered to expand herself into realms of self-respect, education or worth-while pursuits. Its really just a matter of time before the sole pillar propping up her decaying self image peers back at her haggarly from the mirror and gives her up for lost.
Soon enough single women in their 20's will see her as a warning, and coupled women in their 30's will see what they narrowly avoided.

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You remember this woman, and many more like her, don't you?
Well for your own sake, fool, never return to the customer servince industry.

Brought to you by CollinCorp.

what I did on my summer vacation

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:18:17 GMT

And away we go..
Ok, so its been a while since I updated, lets see if I can recall where I left off.

I took a week off and went to stay in Edmonton with my good ol' friend Kathy. Kathy is an oddity. No matter what happens, or how long we go without talking, or how far away she moves, it turns out we're still close buddies. For someone who's done so well letting people I know drift away, this is strange. "I could have sworn I locked that door strange.. Oh look, AXEMURDERER!"
However, I have a brand new philosophy on vacations. For so long ive been kinda iffy on vacations because they're alway so damn much work! Go there, do this, photograph that, be on time for this, deal with them, etc etc.. and you come back from your time off more exhausted and stressed out than you were in the first place. Seemed a little counterproductive to me.
But now, I have discovered a far better vacation, I call it, the LAXATION. It involves going somewhere, and doing pretty much nothing special. Kinda like being checked into a psych ward, except they let you have all the booze you want on a Laxation. My trip to Edmonton consisted of sleeping in, getting up whenever, lounging around, doing a little light construction (table, desk) shopping, cooking, drinking, repeat. I think I could really get into the whole house-husband racket, if it werent for the risk of kids.
There was one terrifying afternoon when Kathy and her cousing Cindy made me try on clothes... is it just me or do changerooms feel an aweful like Iron Maiden's, only without the comforting knowledge that the Iron Maiden will kill you... the changeroom just goes on and on and on...
Im also working on a theory that all things in the universe have a counterpart, completely opposite, with the exact same effect. I began developing this theory at a goth bar, where I spent 3 hours laughing so hard I thought I was going to rupture.

Whores abound

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 20:48:47 GMT

Paris Hilton is on the cover of the most recent Vanity Fair, and she's doing the ol' topless but covering my nipples with my arms pose. Okay, Paris, a little tip here. There's a reason the topless but covering your boobs pose is sexy and risque. You take a celebrity, someone who's regularly very guarded about their privacy and nudity, and alllllmost expose them. Its a big attention grabber. Know why it doesnt work when you do it Paris? Because everyone's already seen what you've got, and covering yourself up with your arms is modest compared to how you're usually seen. You simply cant Expose yourself, because you've been OVER exposed in every possible way. Instead of sexy, its just lame. Go home Paris, stay there. Maybe learn to be ashamed of yourself a little.

My first "my life" update that doesnt include anger.. much

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 23:15:28 GMT

Okay, so I just got back from my annual Regina Long weekend trip with the guys. Friday consisted of driving, then drinking, then drinking intermixed with poker. Saturday was a nicely rounded day of golf, drinking, drinking and poker, followed by drinking.
Sunday was a pleasant excursion that involved a farcical hung over game of 3 on 3 football. Yours truly scored the final touchdown by sheer lethargy. I wandered so slowly and pointlessly downfield that when someone threw me the ball I could still trundle over the goal line before anyone broke my bones. Then we went to the Bomber/Rider game. Bombers lost, and I feel okay with that, not actually caring one way or another about football. My favorite part of the game was the 14 security officers handcuffing an entire row of shirtless, overweight, be-lettered (im not sure what they were trying to spell, the letters were jiggling too much) drunks and leading them out of there. Many of which had urine soaked crotches. And who says Regina isnt a rich cultural utopia? The game was followed by Red Lobster, drinking, and eventual glorious unconsciousness. Interesting sidenote: the proportion of female supporters of the Roughriders was about what I'd say is average for any sport... however, the number of these women who were thorougly have-sex-with-able was almost disturbingly high. Much like the Seinfeld comedian who converted to judaism for the jokes... I may just have to become a Roughrider fan for the chicks. Wonder how I look in green facepaint?

In other news, im back in Winnipeg for a few days and then off on Glorious Vacation to Edmonton to stay with a friend, Kathy. However much I shall miss my own bed and computer, I think this will be good for me. Mostly because Kathy has a habit of forcing things that are good for me onto me. If I come back and am now a Yogi, someone please shake me like an unloved baby.

Appropriate DJ

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 06:05:15 GMT

Two Ottawa radio stations, The BEAR 106.9 and CHEZ 106.1, pulled New Orleans is Sinkin' from their playlists because of the hurricane tragedy.
I think that this song should instead be put into much heavier radio rotation.
I mean, when you get dumped, you mope in your room, listening to sad dopey depressing breakup songs. When you're furious, you rage around listening to angry songs. When uncle Fitzgerald, good ol Edmond, drowns in a Great Lake, you listen to the appropriate song. I think the rescue helicopters in New Orleans should be blaring the Hip Classic from their loudspeakers. When the universe overlaps itself so perfectly its simply bad manners to ignore it.

Besides, they're Americans... they dont know who the Tragically Hip are, they'll just assume its some tribute song written in honor of the tragedy.

Mmmm.... extra crispy

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 05:59:07 GMT

So Monty's post about PETA reminded me that my hackles were up over something else of theirs.
Help me with this.
We EAT chickens. We raise them, force them into existence on a conveyor belt and we EAT them. We birth them, raise them, kill them, and EAT THEM. We consume their flesh.
PETA is pissed off at KFC for inhumane treatment of chickens. Cruelty to animals for the way the chickens are treated. Its not the killing and slaughter and consumption of their flesh thats bothering them, its how the chickens are treated in the meantime.
Now look at this from the chicken's point of view... well.. assuming they werent creatures that can continue to live for months with their heads chopped off.

Ok, I'm a chicken... HOLY FUCK, You sick bastards are going to kill me and eat my FLESH!! My muscle and skin, which I am quite fond of, is going to go into your mouth after being cooked or fried or whatever. YOU EVIL BASTARDS!!!
what.. oh.. you're gonna be mean to me before I die? whatever.. compared to the eventual and undeniable end of my life.. thats not really my big concern, buddy.

So here's what I figure. If you eat chicken, you have no right to be protesting cruel treatment of chickens... because YOU'RE EATING THEM. And on the other hand, if you dont eat chicken, then you dont eat at KFC anyway, then who cares if you're boycotting them, shut it, hippie.

Orwellianism

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:20:50 GMT

Avast!

Has anyone else noticed how, in the media, the term "file-sharing" is gradually being replaced with "file-swapping", even though its a misnomer?
Saying "file-sharing" is accurate. People put up filees to be shared with anyone who wants them, no strings attached.
"File-swapping" implies that the files are traded, one for another, which is almost never the case.
However, since childhood we've been taught that sharing is good. We are supposed to share, all good girls and boys share, sharing is a virtue.
Swapping, though, evokes a less pleasant connotation. Wife swapping. Something illicit, wrong, bad, eeeeevil. Thoroughly less desirable than sharing.
Music Industry has Media by the nose and has extended their grip to its tongue, having no qualms with abusing the english laguage to villify us "Pirates".

yar.

Now I know how China feels

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 23:45:43 GMT

The Japanese stole a lot of things from the Chinese over the course of hundreds of years of warfare. One of those things was their words. Their lettering system of written word. I wonder how the Chinese felt about their words being written by people of a different language.

Christian Science, as discovered by Mary Baker Eddy, refers to the universal, practical system of spiritual, prayer-based healing, available and accessible to everyone.

I am a child grown to a man of science. Science is mine, and forigners are bastardizing it!

"I'm sorry.. you're a.. a what?"
"Christian Scientist."
"Riiigh.. go on, pull the other one."
"I'm a Christian Scientist."
"Uh-hunh.. and I'm a pacifist warrior. It just doesnt work, does it? Well, I suppose I could be a warrior who makes war on pacifists... but thats really not very warrior-like of me. Then again, throughout history Christians have made war on Science.. not very christian of you."

What is this, anyway? Some attempt to convert science into religion? In what possible mindset does the word 'science' apply to religion? In my experience they're perpetually opposite of each other.

Fact vs. Faith.

I wonder if the Chinese were this pissed off?

BEHOLD! The end of days!

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 20:45:44 GMT

Alright, lets get right to it, shall we?

The human race is doomed to stagnation, and eventual extinction. (I thought I'd start wit something broad in scope and devastating in implication)

Follow me on this. Evolution, right? Its how we all got here (anyone who isn't still following me can just stop right now, that includes you intelligent design people) and its why everyone else is here the way we are.

If im wrong about this please tell me I am, someone, anyone.

Ok, Evolution (or at least our current understanding of it) tells us that minor variations in genetic makeup happen randomly, yadda yadda, when isolated or given the advantage by this change, yadda yadda, evolved new lifeform.

Single cell, germ, fish, reptile, avian, mamal, ape, homo-guy-next-door.. here we are.

Now, mankind has become a self-policing species, unique in all history so far as I know. We have become our own gene pool lifeguards. When someone has something different about them at birth, or develops it in the course of their life, we fix it. Different=wrong, and we right the wrongs. Third leg, bad teeth, whatever. If its correctable, we correct it, and if its not then that person really doesnt have a super chance of passing on their genetic information to the next generation. Already we're checking out genetic information for hereditary conditions and finding ways to avoid them, so really the only evolving we can manage is to eliminate everything but the status quo in our makeup.
But true evolution requires a change in biology and then preferrably to be isolated from the main group by some kind of geologic event or something, and that is just not going to happen with us humans, is it? Unless we send colonists to Mars and lose contact with them for a hundred thousand years or something.
Ok, the one hole in this is sort of a guided evolution.. we're taller, better fed, smarter and such. But thats not really evolving, thats just us improving our situation. You pluck a guy out of the past and give him the same advantages and he'll be tall, smart, and indistinguishable from the rest of us. Maybe this will lead to some kind of development, but my understanding of blind evolution is that this isnt the way it works.

I hope im wrong here, but it worries me. I mean, its not keeping me up at nights (its the phone calls at 3 am from my ex that keep me up).. no, but really, here's the thing. Look out your window, check out the next 10 people to walk past, calculate just how much they really deserve to be part of our collective genome, and then think what a tragedy it will be if those same knuckle dragging, nascar watching, "hot enough out for ya" people are the future for mankind until the end of our times.

Im not sure if I should be furious, depressed, or working on my colony ship to Mars.

collinexmachina

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 19:47:20 GMT

"Rant, Collin, RANT" they say.
"No" says I.
"But you have so much disgruntlement" says they.
"Thats not even a word" says me.
"Release your Anger, it will make you powerful" says the deep voiced man in black.
"You can't be my father, its Impossible!!" says... wait..

...and im lost already.

Let's try this again.

Once I ranted.
Once I raved. (not the 14 year old with a glowstick kind, but the maniac in a straightjacket kind)
Once I spat venom, cursed fools and savaged the air with my fury.
Then I got better, calmer, saner. I took deep breaths, I watched butterflies, and I stopped breaking dinnerware.

But every time I think i'm out... They pull me back in!!

... may your god forgive me.